Squirrel goes Nuts over Marijuana…Baba is his pusher!

Ok you know things are getting kind of squirrelly when a rodent prefers the weed to his usual fare of fruits and nuts….

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image from squirrel

Now as per one “India-TV” report, there is a Sadhu / Baba named “Suraj Nath” in Ujjain city in Madhya Pradesh state of India who himself is addicted to “Bhang (marijuana)” & chews this in its coarse form daily many times. He lives over there in Ujjain under a tree & he has made an unusual friendship with a “Squirrel” living up that tree.

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Strange thing is that his friend “Squirrel” is also addicted to Bhang (marijuana) which Sadhu shares with the Squirrel. Whenever, Baba Suraj Nath have an urge to chew Bhang (marijuana), he takes small quantity of it on his palm & calls the Squirrel from the tree. Addict Squirrel on hearing the call from Baba comes running down to the Baba & starts chewing the Bhang from his hand.

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After eating good quantity of it, Squirrel goes out of control due to its effect & have a nice sleep. Everyday, Baba Suraj Nath offers this Bhang (marijuana) to the Squirrel many times & the little animal is so addicted to it that it likes Bhang more than food or fruits.

Read the rest at Weird Desi

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“this summer… a man and a rodent embark on a journey of discovery together, two addicts, one plant…and a whole lot of nuts. Rated PG 13. Coming soon to a head shop near you. ” That’s a film I might watch. Especially if they got Snoop to play the sadhu…snoop.jpgand made Benecio Del Torro the squirrel…scary-squirrel.jpg and turn it into an animated sequel: “Fear and Loathing in Madhya Pradesh”fear-and.jpg….filled with fetish squirrelsnaughty-squirrel-2.jpg and light saber battles jedisquirrels-2.jpgand giant squirrels that mutate into butterflies…yeh…I might watch that one…

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Unexplained Desi Mysteries…the “God” Files…

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image from religiousfreaks
Ok so you believe in God or you don’t…in any case weird things happen in India that defy explanation…such as trees that take on the shape of the sculpture of Ganesh or the Goddess Tara…and statues and paintings that bleed from the eyes or drink milk. Sure…you can try and come up with an explanation and people have done so…but ultimately it takes a leap of faith to choose to interpret those events one way or the other…it takes some degree of blind faith to be an atheist. Me? Oh no no…I think the aliens did it. We’re all part of one large experiment conducted by white mice from outer space to decipher the meaning of life only…they’re all college students in the middle of their intergalactic Phd’s and they got bored half-way through their theses…so now they’re just fucking with us.
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So here are some mysteries from the “God” files…

First off we have…(drum roll please): the famous Shiva Statue that drinks milk…now that is some seriously weird stuff…and the fact that this kind of thing happens simultaneously to a lot of people in different houses across India…its like when Yuri Gellar got people to hold up spoons in front of the television and managed to bend them all during that broadcast…how do you explain it? It’s the mice I tell you.

Shiva drinks milk:

Rikshaw driver converts to Judaism in Bombay after a Rabbi gave his dead pregnant wife something to drink which caused her corpse to deliver his son…who is sitting with him in the video! He tells the story in English while sitting in a synagogue.

The Rikshaw Driver Miracle:

And in the Village of Erumali, Kerala, in the Church of Saint Mary’s…the eyes of the painting of Maria Rosa Mystica began to bleed. And where this happened a women who had brain cancer was instantly cured! Actually she just had an alien mouse stuck in her ear. It was quite sad because he crawled in there after a drinking binge and suffocated later causing the other members of his death metal band, Anonymouse, Euronymouse, and Mouseferatu, to write a song about him for their new “The White Mice” album called “Cheesus Saves”…click on the cheese to see that clip. “cheese” whitemice.jpg (image from monotremata )

Maria Rosa Mystica:

Ok and this is an attempt in Seattle, to convince everyone that a snow-man melted miraculously into the form of the Lord Ganesh. This NRI dad is just trying to impress his kid but I think that’s pretty cool…I mean Hindu Desi kids don’t really get a chance to believe in Santa Claus so why not believe in miracle snow men that look like Ganesh instead?

Ganesh the Snow Man:

Heh heh…I do believe in Santa I do believe in Santa…I’m sending him some addresses of some GOOD friends of mine…
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image from badsanta

Martial Arts of India…warriors and saints…

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The spiritual art of war is something, that in popular Hollywood films, is often linked with little old chinese sages with drooping eyebrows and a Buddhist approach to defeating your opponent…and Buddhism travelled to China from India…but what about the other forms of spiritual warfare that originated in India? The Bhagavad Geeta is an entire Hindu text which is written as a conversation between Lord Krishna and Arjun, where he is counseled and given a metaphysical ethics and philosophy of warfare. Arjun hesitates (this is during the climactic war of the Mahabarata) before killing his family and teachers, and Krishna, who is driving his chariot, helps him see the bigger picture so that he can go ahead with his dharma…arjun.jpgkrish.jpgand the bigger picture is…according to Krishna, that its all a game of karma, and that in material form each person has to fulfill his function- Arjun is a Kshatrya warrior and he must fight…and when Arjun is slightly unconvinced…Krishna show him his true form… with a glimpse of the infinite cosmos…which sort of puts an end to the conversation and Arjun, slightly dazed by the infinite, is prepared for battle…

With such an intense history of war and spiritual practice often even associated with war, you would think that India’s martial arts would be pretty well known but Indian martial arts aren’t particularly famous internationally…definitely not as well known as the japanese korean and chinese martial arts…this is partly because Indian martial arts traditions suffered during the british raj and have been getting resurrected and revived since independence…So here are some of the modern day warriors practicing their art today:

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Gatka is the martial arts form of the Sikh Warriors which uses the sword as a weapon of choice. Gatka was a tradition that is said to be passed down from God to Guru Nanak…but it was Guru Hargobind who propogated the theory of the “warrior saint”, making it mandatory for his followers to engage in martial arts…acting as an army of defenders not only of the sikh faith but of other faiths as well…….gatka.jpg you don’t want to mess with these guys- can you imagine them in the heat of battle? At the end of the clip the teacher slices a watermelon in half off of the belly of one of his students. And click here to see a Punjabi girl practicing Gatka and her brother puts kajol on her eyes with the edge of his sword while blindfolded

Gatka Warriors:

Check out the South Indian martial arts form Kalaripattu…legend has it that it may be the original mother of all martial arts…but
following the collapse of the princely states around Kerela in which it was practiced it dissapeared into obscurity and is now being
resurrected…Kung- fu, popularized by the monks of the Shoaling Temple traces its ancestry to Bodhi Dharma – an Indian Buddhist
monk and Kalaripayattu master. Legend traces the 3000-year-old art form to Sage Parasurama- the master of all martial art forms and credited to be the re-claimer of Kerala from the Arabian Sea. And Parasurama the sage is also known as one of the Hindu god, vishnu’s 10 avatars…who (during his incarnation as Parasurama) weilded an axe and was a devotee of Lord Shiva, who was the one who gave Parasurama the axe and taught him the martial arts. parasurama.jpgParasurama translates from sanscrit as “Rama who weilds the axe” (Rama was another incarnation of Vishnu). In other words, The biggest bad ass in the Hindu pantheon invented this martial art form and taught it to another major god in human form and its still kicking. Although I have to admit…it might be deadly…but some of the moves don’t look particularly…sexy…(such as the limp chicken arm at the beginning) still…they have some moves which would probably put Darth Vader and Yoda to shame…well…maybe not Yoda…check it out…

Kalaripattu:

And finally check out the deadly martial arts of Manipur… “The art of the Sword and the Spear” THANG TA (The art of sword and the spear) which was secretly taught in the home schools of individual gurus after being prohibited during the period of the colonial raj (1891-1947). It survived during the period of Manipur’s integration with the Indian Union in 1949, where the art was shown in festivals and performance platforms abroad since 1976.thang-ta.jpg Unfortunately, the internal system of meditative practices and its essential spiritual character is at risk of being lost through lack of knowledge and committed practice by the present generation. Contemporary theatre practitioners are gaining awareness of its basic energy use and creative exercise of the body’s resources which would enhance the performance energy of the artist. Anyway I’ve seen them do this live quite a few times and they always use real sharpened blades and these tiny sheilds and no skin protection…with the real Thang Ta masters they always get within milimeters of slashing eachother’s veins open. Really hard core. (check out more info at thang ta)

Thang Ta

With a Little Help from my Friends…the yellow brick road to Bombay

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A lost chappal, some sandy traces, Old bollywood film clips and posters, bits of music from here and there, uncanny adds, late night beer-guzzling stupidities, bad movies that made you spit out your popcorn and “never again” all-nighters writing pointless essays and/or drinking strange concoctions that make you have strange dreams about evil ponies, snakes with fur and ronald mcdonald babies…Remains of the Desi is shifting headquarters from Chandigarh to Bombay and I’m managing it from a cyber cafe in Lunavla right now…more guest writer posts are lining up but in the mean time I’m posting stuff that relates directly to why this blog was started in the first place. The “remains” part “of the desi” is to do with all those little traces, objects, memories and comments that, when we return to them, become a sort of popcultural history through which some of us remember who we were…why we were that way…and what made us laugh.

Remember this weird Desi McDonald’s add? That child looks evil. Although he might taste good deep fried, inside a maharaja mac covered with ketchup…mmm…I’m loving “It” (looks like the spawn of that evil clown played by Tim Curry in “It”.) it.jpg
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Image from weird

But there are just too many of these remains for me to be able to remember them all…and the same goes for some of the guest writers at ROTD….and especially because a lot of the people writing for ROTD have been living in different cities and countries…it sort of turned into a common room where we can all check in, have a laugh (and perhaps a smoke) beedi.jpgand have a quick connect. Some of my closest friends are in different countries and I don’t see many of them for six months or a year at a time. So this sort of becomes a kind of “passing dirty notes in class” in cyberspace as well. Anyway, thinking of friends…this year has been one of the biggest upside down WTF years of our lives as we’ve been following the endless yellow brick road to the emerald city of Bombay…..emerald.jpg….but one of the best parts of going through a difficult year is that it really lets you know who your friends are..yellow-brick.jpg..and those crazy buggers just creep out of the woodwork and surprise you in ways that make you want to buy them their own private islands and life-time supplies of beer. So here’s a little number for you guys by Joe Cocker- “Live at Woodstock 1969” and definitely one of the best “Growing up/getting Fucked up/Figuring shit out/Finding out who your real Friends are” sort of anthems I know of…its a cover of a beatles song but sounds much better and looks much better with shaggy Joe Cocker (looks like someone fed him some Scooby snacks) singing it playing air guitar while Jimmy Page (my fav. guitarist who I once bumped into randomly in a London Coffee shop) plays a killer guitar intro…those were the days when having an epileptic fit on stage looked fascinatingly cool…

With a Little Help from my Friends:

Lollywood Aunty Does the Exorcist

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what is it that is so satisfying about watching a nice little old aunty have her head screwed on backwards while being twirled around the four walls of a nice conservative house by a weird wizard who looks like He Man’s evil cousin in an animal print vest? Click here to see it: Your mother sucks rasgollas in hell!

Moving to Bombay…packing up…finding lost items…getting all mushy…

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image from navis

So I’m in the middle of packing up all our stuff because my man (husband sounds so “stepford wives”)joy-2.jpg…my man got a job in Bombay and after many months of being postponed because of various jobs and commitments that had to get done in Chandigarh we are finally going to be on the plane day after…and we cant wait to get off the plane and smell that delicious Bombay air…followed by drinking a Bombay drink with old friends beer.jpgwho are like family and who have been waiting for us to arrive there for a long time…and I hear the first fall of rain has already hit the city…it seems too good to be true. Anyways, cleaning house, packing shit up and locking stuff away, while trying to fit the bare essentials into suitcases suitcase-2.jpgto shift to a new city always ends up in a treasure hunt discovery of random pieces of paper and notes you’d written and forgotten, letter.jpg plans you’d half-started and suddenly have the chance to follow through…old VCD discs that you’d thought had disappeared suddenly peek out behind dust bunnies and half dried cockroaches under bookshelves…after a while I am covered in soot, over-caffeinated chai.jpgbut basically buzzing over the fact that we are going to be back in the city where we’ve been the most happy…the city of bad good cinema that has the best food in the world…and we are going to dine well when we arrive…oh yes… brittania.jpgBritannia…Olympia…Basilico…New Martins…the list continues…and then for a cold beer at Starlit Cafe with old friends…beer-2.jpgand then we will gangbang the local cinema halls and see a million films back to back…Anyways I want to put up some totally gratuitous, disgustingly sentimental music clips because right now I actually feel disgustingly sentimental. I guess I’m still a geek stuck in 80’s pop romantic sentimentality but I guess the songs you listen to in highschool always touch a chord later on and what can I say…U2 is the teenage music still playing in my aging mid-twenty-year-old…err…blood-pumping-thingy… heart.jpgThis is for you babe… cuz I really don’t care which city we live in or where we go…or how much of our useless junk we take with us… “All the Promises we make…from the cradle to the grave…but all I want is you…” anyway blah blah blah…love you etc.

Tomorrow morning we’re in Bombay…the last minute frantic dash to pack and clean and then collapse and get up and fly off. I just cant wait to taste the Bombay rains…there’s nothing like them…nothing at all…another one for you my love:


The lyrics seem somehow very right for right now…Led Zepplin’s “Rain Song”:

This is the springtime of my loving-The second season I am to know
You are the sunlight in my growing-So little warmth Ive felt before.
It isnt hard to feel me glowing-I watched the fire that grew so low.

It is the summer of my smiles-Flee from me keepers of the gloom.
Speak to me only with your eyes -It is to you I give this tune.
Aint so hard to recognize-These things are clear to all from Time to time…

Talk talk-
Ive felt the coldness of my winter I never thought it would ever go
I cursed the gloom that set upon us…But I know that I love you so
But I know that I love you so.

These are the seasons of emotion-And like the winds they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion-I see the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient-Upon us all a little rain Must fall.
Just a little rain?

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image from lemonade

“Snakesploitation”: Snakes on a Plane…in my brain…in my nose…whatever…

For some reason I have snakes on the brain lately…so here’s what I dug out of some cyber snake holes:
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Oh look…the only two headed albino rat snake known to man…from theAge
Everyone’s been going on and on about what a BIG deal it is for this baby to be playing with a cobra…everywhere I look this clip is posted. “Ohhhh”…concerned parents of the west, sigh… “is THAT how they raise their kids in the far east…no wonder they turn into terrorists”….and then there follows the defensive desi cultural explanations about how Indians see snakes as sacred beasts like cows and some other bollocks that they probably made up to sound culturally sophisticated and steeped in tradition…when in fact its just some bored parents in a village trying to entertain their wee boy while filming him playing with this harassed serpent…probably drugged and defanged put at the mercy of some indulged little tyrant at the top of the food chain. And what about this baby? He’s going to have some serious Freudian issues later on…anyways…here it is:

The only snakes I really like watching are ones that either a) wear silver costumes and know how to belly dance or b) swallow Paris Hilton’s dog alive…which brings me to my next violent and worryingly gratifying clip from one of my all time favorite films “Snakes on a Plane”…which shows some of the most deliciously disgusting snake attacks in the film including the one where the guy is peeing in the restroom and the snake slithers out of the toilet mid-stream and…anyway my only regret is that the snakes never do eat that baby. THAT would have made it the best film ever.

See a Pakistani guy puts a snake up his nose…and it comes out of his mouth…ugh. I feel bad for the snake…who wants to slither through someone’s nasal passage? Click here

And this one is from the film Naag Shakti…animated snake with woman’s head licks some green dude’s face with her forked tongue. I haven’t seen this film but it looks just bad enough to be worth it. Anyway, Click here.

And here’s an article on a snake that was discovered in Orissa which turns out not to be a snake at all…but a new species of Limbless Lizard …lizard_snake-2.jpgread the article at weird India:

And speaking of Snakes and Lizards…

“A monster of energy…It’s a monster”
“Kiss the snake on the tongue…kiss the serpent”
“But if it senses fear, it’ll eat us instantly”
“But if we kiss it without fear, it’ll take us through the garden, through the gate to the other side”
“Ride the snake until the end of time”
“I think I’m fucked up man, I’m not thinking right”
“Look at your eyes man…you’re death.”
“I’m afraid of my father…I can’t be what they want me to be.”
“Maybe you should kill your father.”

Quotes from the film, The Doors, by Oliver Stone, which I was completely obsessed with when I was fourteen…only to grow up and feel vaguely embarrassed when watching Stone’s “Alexander” and realizing that his metaphors for snakes, mothers, fathers, and women in general are under arrested development in an Oedipal reading that Freud would only have been able to respond to by shaking his head, patting Oliver on the head and saying “sometimes a snake is just a snake, kiddo.”

I wonder if Morrison ever did manage to kiss a live snake and not an imaginary metaphorical one brought on by mixing hundreds of psychotropic chemicals, loud music and orgies with wiccans. Anyway, here’s a Kerela Snake Charmer who kisses his cobra. Click it:

Trust in me…This was one of the few Disney cartoons snake-jungle-book.jpgthat I had my grubby little meathooks on when Doordharshan was the only channel and the “Mickey and Donny” show were the only alternatives… Here’s “Ka’s” hypnotic song from The Jungle Book”

And oh look…A boy and his snake…its the real kid from the jungle book except with a domesticated “Ka” python…massive creature who looks about as cuddly as a koala bear…except its big enough to eat several koala bears at once…and this Indian kid actually “rides the snake”…but I never thought snake cuddles could be so appealing. Actually I might go out and buy me one of those…cho chweet!

Ok ok. Enough snakes.