Totally Tasteless Lollywood Clips…


Its Sunday…and time for browsing the worst of the worst…I can’t embed these clips so click the links to see:


Salman Rushie is attacked with lasers-from the epic film International Gorillay….here the “evil salman rushdie” gets zapped by some flying holy scriptures and gets shown what happens when one messes with THE BOOK


Talibarzan discovers Jungle Babe having mutha of all periods…jungle monkey tries to help…


Dancing giant Lollywood Dildo and a pink lycra leotard…


and Madame of the Brothel-whips, chains, girls, goons and a crucifix!


Vintage LOLLYWOOD babes jiggle their bits…

image from

Its a lazy Saturday afternoon…and the perfect time to try out some cheap and sultry dance moves with these Lollywood sex kittens of yesteryear. Shaggadelic Baby Yeah….So lock your door, drink some caffiene or what have you, smoke some of dat wacky tobacky and let it all jiggle about like jello…what no one else can see can’t hurt them…and trust me…don’t knock it till you turn up the music and shake your badonkadonk batty… try out the tasteful tree seduction and the tummy collisions…

the owners of these clips on youtube don’t allow video embedding so click the links and go for it.

from the classic movie BAGHAWAT featuring the superb vocals of Madame Noor Jehan, the Melody Queen:

Queen of the “Killub” dance Chakori displays some deadly moves in this classic dance number from Jasoos:

Some more 70’s sex kittens heaving their chests, panting and doing Elvis the pelvis thrusts:

Vintage Lollywood Vampire poster copied from vintage Hollywood Dracula poster

Found each of these quite by accident and realized they match…

images from movieforum and thehotspotonline

Lollywood Aunty Does the Exorcist

what is it that is so satisfying about watching a nice little old aunty have her head screwed on backwards while being twirled around the four walls of a nice conservative house by a weird wizard who looks like He Man’s evil cousin in an animal print vest? Click here to see it: Your mother sucks rasgollas in hell!

The new Pakistani slaughterhouse horror film by Omar Ali Khan…ZIBAHKHANA

Omar Ali Khan has come out with the first Lollywood Horror Film tribute…and just as I was wistfully hoping that we had some sort of a dark horse Tarantino Desi out there planning out a tribute all the wonderful gore of Lollywood/Bollywood brownsploitation horror…before it disapears into either low budget obscurity or high budget effects that diminish the sleazy queasy quality of the monsters…Omar emerges, riding out of the sunset on the back of this zombie fest….I am dying to see this! It’s called “Zibahkhana,” which means slaughterhouse in Urdu, but the English title is Hell’s Ground. And, like Tarantino’s “Grindhouse”, it’s a film whose title says in word what the film is about; a full on mise en scene of as many classic cult elements of retro Pakistani horror that can fit into a script. The film premiered in the Nat Film Festival in Denmark 2007, has played the “After Dark” Philadelphia Film Festival 2007 and the New York Asian Film Festival 2007. Now Omar and his crew are off to more festivals which you can check out at the official website here:

image from philly

there’s a mysterious killer hidden inside a bloody burqa racing through the forest who wants to introduce his cast-iron mace into everyone’s face. As Pakistani garage rock warps the soundtrack and buckets of blood fly from the screen everyone learns 2007’s most important lesson in geopolitics: teenagers in horror movies are dumb in every country and in every culture… Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets the Taliban, this flick, shot on Hi-Def, is about a gaggle of teens who head out to a rock concert and take a detour that leads them into the middle of hell. Stuffed with old school Pakistani actors (such as Rehan from the 1967 musical version of Dracula, Zinda Lash) and soaked in gore that was mostly scored from local butcher shops (“He wanted to use a real severed head for one scene,” says the movie’s producer of Khan. “We told him: no.”)

quote and image from review on New York Asian Film Festival 2007 Website

Here’s the trailer for “Zibahkhana”…Slaughterhouse…

Omar also runs“The Hotspot”, an icecream parlor and café run by him, his brother Ali and sister-in-law Mariam. It has a cyber-land counterpart called theHotspotOnline which is full of juicy Bollywood/Lollywood reviews and posters, also managed by Omar and his crew.

The idea for ice cream came from Omar’s passion as a kid for watching horror films and eating ice cream all night…After the success of their venture of selling ice cream out of their house and testing the reaction of the market, they have recently taken over the train ka dubba that was once the Orient express restaurant, and have transformed it into a cafe, the like of which Islamabad has never seen before. Together with the rather retro decor reminiscent of films like Grease, and the unparalleled quality of the ice cream they offer, The Hot Spot appeals to the taste of the old and young alike…The idea for a cafe came about simply because Islamabad had no similar eating place. The world of ice cream parlours had been ventured into before, but the quality of ice cream offered was of the commercial, mass-produced variety. Omar says that “we used to talk about how nice it would be if a place like this existed. Islamabad didn’t have a cafe in the proper sense of the word, because the ice cream shops all had a very generic kind of atmosphere.” Quote by Hajrah Mumtaz from

Its good to know that our Indo-Pakistani Horror heritage has its own little growing cyber archive and some die hard monster fanatics to write, direct, and make “I scream” while serving icecream…

Bollywood/Lollywood Vampires Then and Now (Zinda Laash-1967 and Khooni Dracula-1992)

Lollywood Dracula…ZINDA LAASH
image from Zinda Laash

– This movie is only the second horror film (and first vampire film) to be made in Pakistan – “Lollywood’s”(the Pakistani film industry is based in the city of Lahore, therefor the name) own interpretation of Hammer ‘s classic Dracula – it even borrowed a bit of the 1957 Dracula’s musical score.
– The story more or less follows Bram Stoker ‘s novel – to underplay the supernatural and religious elements of Dracula’s identity, the vampire of “Zinda Laash” is given a mad scientist/Dr. Jekyll origin – and this is acknowledged in the film’s credits.
– The film was due to be banned outright (the government found it too “corruptive and evil”) until the producers pleaded with the local censors. The censors relented, but insisted that they would never allow a film of this nature to be released ever again! The movie opened on July 7th, 1967 to big crowds as curiosity levels had reached fever pitch as the film made history as the only local release to be awarded an “Adults Only” certificate. Quote from vampyres

Unfortunately the owner of the video doesn’t allow for embedding so you’ll have to click here and go to Youtube to check out the trailer. Trust me its a classic well worth watching.

And just by way of comparison to illustrate the fallen times of Desi Horror cinema, check out this trailer for an extremely low budget Bollywood film…Khooni Dracula…click and see it here. Its got a pretty catchy theme song….and if you click here you can see a clip from the movie where the monster gate crashes a party and starts dancing about….


Khooni Dracula is an utterly atrocious excuse of a movie that perfectly illustrates the level to which Bollywood Horror has plunged over the last decade or so. The movie’s production values are virtually nil with bit comedian Birbal being the only “star” name that anyone would have recognized – they couldn’t even afford an Anil Dhawan or a Navin Nischal or even a Deepak Parashar.To even attempt to explain the “plot” of this disaster of a movie is flattering it considerably, however for the record its basically about an evil fat uncle who rapes and then murders his maid having had a little too much to drink one dark stormy night. The blood that flows from the maids wounds somehow flows into the waiting mouth of Dracula who by coincidence is buried directly below her. This reawakens the ghastly rubber faced Dracula who proceeds to behave rather like a bottled genie in that he is now the slave of his murderous fat master. And so this heinous blimp sends his rubber-faced assassin to murder and rape upon his command. The film is basically a series of cheaply staged set pieces involving some dowdy women disrobing in order to have their beauty baths. Time and again some ugly, squat, plain Jane takes her clothes off – well almost as according to these movies, all desi women bathe with their clothes on – and the audience is treated to numerous shots of underwear and close ups of stretch marked bums and the like. Rubber face Dracula has a penchant for turning up when the nubile young things are disrobed and proceeds to feel them up heartily before plunging his rubber teeth into their leathery skin. (check out the rest of the review by Omar Khan at theHotspotOnline here)