Finish Your Beer-There’s Sober Kids in India

finish-your-beer.jpg
image from gaijintonic.com

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“Child Beer”…grab me a cold one…

mmm…fermented child…oh wait that’s child BEAR…oh wait that’s kind of gross…is this like fermented placenta? anyways…

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image from indiamike.com

Tis the Season to get Wasted… Sanjay Dutt, Saaki Saaki, Musafir… (hic)

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Tis the Season to get Wasted…tra la la la la la la la la
Pour a drink you haven’t tasted….tra la la la la la la la
Old Monk Rum, Bacardi, Brandy… tra la la la la la la
grab whichever bottle’s handy….tra la la la la la la la la

This original composition is coming to you direct from your very own yuletide alcoholic ROTD with compliments from the cyber bar. (a note on interpreting this classic work: the song improves vastly when you sing it after five or six drinks)

and on the subject of sharabis….

Here’s Sanjay Dutt singing “saaki saaki” from Musafir…

for all you drunkards out there: much love! Oh Sharabi! Kya Sharabi!

Cannibal Goats and Drunken Rats

So get this: There’s this goat named Mantu who ISN’T being eaten because he eats other goats. Plus he’s going to get a cannibal goat bride. Only in India.

evil-goat.jpg image from thundercats

Goats are generally vegetarian. They eat grass, fruit and vegetables but have you ever heard of a goat who eats meat and drinks liquor!!! Yes, here is a goat named ” Mantu”,who is fond of all these stuff. There is a goat at the “Sana Bada Dhaba”, a roadside eatery, 350 kms from the state capital Bhubaneswar in Orissa state of India, who’s staple diet is cooked meat of other goats & this goat drinks liquor too.’The animal has been living in the dhaba since its birth and slowly developed the habit of eating non-vegetarian food,’ as per the dhaba owner Sana Naik.

Mantu does not like grass – the staple diet of other goats. ‘The goat eats the cooked meat of other goats that we serve to customers,’ he said. ‘Because of its peculiar habits, we are not killing it.’

The goat also drinks liquor. It obeys commands like monkeys.’If you ask it to perform a death scene, it will lie on the ground as if dead. You ask it to show a fight scene, it will demonstrate like a warrior,’ he said.As per the dhaba owner Naik. ‘I love the goat so much. It is like my own child. I am looking for a female goat as its bride,’ Naik said. ‘I am planning to organise the marriage in a big way, may be next August.

‘I will also host a grand feast. My customers, who include ministers, legislators, officials, businessmen and journalists, have assured me that they will join the feast and bless the goat couple.’ from weird India

green beer rat
from webshots

Rodents get drunk as skunks off seized liquor

Posted Thu Jun 21, 2007 10:25pm AEST

Authorities in India say rats are gnawing at beer cans and making holes in caps of whisky bottles stored in police storehouses in the east of the country and apparently getting drunk.

Kundan Krishnan, a senior officer says the rodents’ love for liquor has the police department in Bihar state stumped as it tries to store hundreds of bottles seized from illegal sellers from across the state in Patna, the state capital.

“We are fed up with these drunk rats and cannot explain why they have suddenly turned to consumption of alcohol,” he said.

The problem costs revenue as the seized liquor is usually sold through auctions, he said.

Rats were also attacking people near the police buildings, nibbling at their toes, although it was not clear if they were under the influence, officials and witnesses said. from abc

Amitabh Bachan sings “Kaike paan Banaras Wala” from Don 1978

Thought it would be an opportune moment to play a song in praise of tasty Paan…here’s the classic song where Amitabh Bachan gets high on bhang lassi and eats some Banarasi Paan that inspires him to break into a song about it…

WE are the BHAIs…Bollywood Gangsters getting Hotter…

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image from ourbollywood

I just saw “Shootout in Lokhandwala” and the action scenes are getting more and more akin to Guy Richie gangster flicks and full of violent stunt scenes that impress and raise the bar….there were….gun fights, exploding gas cylinder tanks, fist fights with a light bulb, a tv set crashing down screen-first over someone’s head and a squashed head over the side of the pavement borrowed from American History X. And it seems like directors are leaning more towards using heavy metal riffs and rock ballads (such as in Life in a Metro 2007) as a musical score than the more passé quivering violins .

But more importantly…have you noticed that Desi Gangsters are getting hotter? A new wave of Gangster films has been sweeping the Indian film industry and they seem to be getting slicker each time. Ram Gopal Varma’s “Sarkar” 2005 was inspired by The Godfather and had that sweeping operatic feel to it but…and King Khan’s remake of Amitabh’s “Don” 2006 produced a slicker, more metropolitan kind of mob boss….but I still like my gangsters old school… And yeah…its seems like “cool” is getting formally redefined into a more seedy, red light district, local vernacular…

ok so we know all the actors are rich boys trying on a mirch masala Lokhandwala bad boy act…but what I like about it is its brand of gangster without the Hiphop dance moves and gear that many mainstream Bollywood dance sequences tend to incorporate…don’t get me wrong…that NRI style of bhangra fusion is hot…but then here’s a more home grown, gritty alternative…without all the metropolitan finesse…which is sort of filthy and cute at the same time. That’s one woman’s opinion, anyway.

So check it out…the new music vid. from Shootout at Lokhandwala 2007

“…In the Mumbai…all over India…We are the Bhais…we are the Bhais (shake your ass shake your ass shake your ass)”

Notice that all good Ganster tunes are sung/danced while completely trashed?

Saif Ali Khan gets it perfectly in Omkara…with Vivek Oberoi and Bipasha in Beedie…(good to see Vivek is getting a bit tougher after Aishwarya’s wedding…I was a bit worried for the kid) Of course Sanjay Dutt and Arshad Warsi are killer as Munna Bhai and Circuit…but they play bad boys with hearts of gold where as films like Shootout at Lokhandwala, Omkara, Sarkar, etc. are just bad…bad to the bone…and did I mention cute?

Here’s Beedi …the lyrics are pretty raunchy…here they are:

No cover…No blanket…And this cold wind is also against me, oh fair one
It’s so cold, take someone’s blanket
Go take some fire from your neighbor’s stove
Light your beedi from my heart as there is a firing raging within

Don’t let smoke slip from your lips, my love
because this world is such a heap already

without any fault without any proof
Not commiting any crime, I got sentenced to death
On one such a day, do call me in the afternoon
Order me to court, tying me up with anklebells
Do call me in the afternoon and take me to court
Light your stove from my chest…
not even the edge of a knife
Even the dagger is matchless
She bit me in such a way, leaving marks behind
that any farmer will stop cutting his crops

oh, would you pair up with a crude like me
Oh billo, would you settle down with a crude
without telling, without calling me
he woke me up from my sleep
Suddenly my destiny came into my blanket
and while feeding me cardamoms, he kept coming closer…

lit your coal from my chest…

translation from bolly-what

BEEDI JALAYE LE – from Omkara 2006

The Gansters in Satya 1998 aren’t exactly…cute…but they are convincing…check out that classic drunken “kallu Mama” tune… here and another drunken Gangster song Saaki Saaki…..from Musafir 2004 with Sanjay Dutt here flicking his blade near writhing nymphets

Anyway, I’m working on my gangster sneer. I can’t wear my shirts unbuttoned down to my naval (or I won’t anyway)…but I’m working on my truck driver Hindi drawl…

Strange Desi News: GROOM GETS DRUNK. BRIDE SWAPS HIM FOR SOBER BRO.

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Mon Apr 30, 2007

PATNA, India (Reuters) – Villagers at a wedding in eastern India decided the groom had arrived too drunk to get married, and so the bride married the groom’s more sober brother instead, police said on Monday.

“The groom was drunk and had reportedly misbehaved with guests when the bride’s family and local villagers chased him away,” Madho Singh, a senior police officer told Reuters after Sunday’s marriage in a village in Bihar state’s Arwal district.

The younger brother readily agreed to take the groom’s place beside the teenage bride at her family’s invitation, witnesses said.

“The groom apologised for his behaviour, but has been crying that word will spread and he will never get a bride again,” Singh said by phone.

text and image from tangotogether.com