Desi Disco Fighting…

Karate Disco:

Amitabh Bachan in a scene from Yaarana, doing the disco punch:

Martial Arts of India…warriors and saints…

The spiritual art of war is something, that in popular Hollywood films, is often linked with little old chinese sages with drooping eyebrows and a Buddhist approach to defeating your opponent…and Buddhism travelled to China from India…but what about the other forms of spiritual warfare that originated in India? The Bhagavad Geeta is an entire Hindu text which is written as a conversation between Lord Krishna and Arjun, where he is counseled and given a metaphysical ethics and philosophy of warfare. Arjun hesitates (this is during the climactic war of the Mahabarata) before killing his family and teachers, and Krishna, who is driving his chariot, helps him see the bigger picture so that he can go ahead with his dharma…and the bigger picture is…according to Krishna, that its all a game of karma, and that in material form each person has to fulfill his function- Arjun is a Kshatrya warrior and he must fight…and when Arjun is slightly unconvinced…Krishna show him his true form… with a glimpse of the infinite cosmos…which sort of puts an end to the conversation and Arjun, slightly dazed by the infinite, is prepared for battle…

With such an intense history of war and spiritual practice often even associated with war, you would think that India’s martial arts would be pretty well known but Indian martial arts aren’t particularly famous internationally…definitely not as well known as the japanese korean and chinese martial arts…this is partly because Indian martial arts traditions suffered during the british raj and have been getting resurrected and revived since independence…So here are some of the modern day warriors practicing their art today:

Gatka is the martial arts form of the Sikh Warriors which uses the sword as a weapon of choice. Gatka was a tradition that is said to be passed down from God to Guru Nanak…but it was Guru Hargobind who propogated the theory of the “warrior saint”, making it mandatory for his followers to engage in martial arts…acting as an army of defenders not only of the sikh faith but of other faiths as well……. you don’t want to mess with these guys- can you imagine them in the heat of battle? At the end of the clip the teacher slices a watermelon in half off of the belly of one of his students. And click here to see a Punjabi girl practicing Gatka and her brother puts kajol on her eyes with the edge of his sword while blindfolded

Gatka Warriors:

Check out the South Indian martial arts form Kalaripattu…legend has it that it may be the original mother of all martial arts…but
following the collapse of the princely states around Kerela in which it was practiced it dissapeared into obscurity and is now being
resurrected…Kung- fu, popularized by the monks of the Shoaling Temple traces its ancestry to Bodhi Dharma – an Indian Buddhist
monk and Kalaripayattu master. Legend traces the 3000-year-old art form to Sage Parasurama- the master of all martial art forms and credited to be the re-claimer of Kerala from the Arabian Sea. And Parasurama the sage is also known as one of the Hindu god, vishnu’s 10 avatars…who (during his incarnation as Parasurama) weilded an axe and was a devotee of Lord Shiva, who was the one who gave Parasurama the axe and taught him the martial arts. Parasurama translates from sanscrit as “Rama who weilds the axe” (Rama was another incarnation of Vishnu). In other words, The biggest bad ass in the Hindu pantheon invented this martial art form and taught it to another major god in human form and its still kicking. Although I have to admit…it might be deadly…but some of the moves don’t look particularly…sexy…(such as the limp chicken arm at the beginning) still…they have some moves which would probably put Darth Vader and Yoda to shame…well…maybe not Yoda…check it out…

Kalaripattu:

And finally check out the deadly martial arts of Manipur… “The art of the Sword and the Spear” THANG TA (The art of sword and the spear) which was secretly taught in the home schools of individual gurus after being prohibited during the period of the colonial raj (1891-1947). It survived during the period of Manipur’s integration with the Indian Union in 1949, where the art was shown in festivals and performance platforms abroad since 1976. Unfortunately, the internal system of meditative practices and its essential spiritual character is at risk of being lost through lack of knowledge and committed practice by the present generation. Contemporary theatre practitioners are gaining awareness of its basic energy use and creative exercise of the body’s resources which would enhance the performance energy of the artist. Anyway I’ve seen them do this live quite a few times and they always use real sharpened blades and these tiny sheilds and no skin protection…with the real Thang Ta masters they always get within milimeters of slashing eachother’s veins open. Really hard core. (check out more info at thang ta)

Thang Ta

Brownsploitation CATFIGHT! Vintage Bollywood beauties take out their claws…

“catbeast” film poster from thehotspotonline

Step aside…Tarantino…these kitties have claws…and though it may look like you’re time-warped into a blaxploitation flick…you have arrived at BROWNSPLOITATION numero uno in the truck-driver gormet cinematic crème de la crème of bad movies that feature the very best in Bollywood Bad Girls…so please to click and enjoy…catfight!

This catfight is from a Tamil Movie that uses Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon as a soundtrack to a fight sequence involving angry chicks in synthetic wigs, yellow bellbottoms and daisy dukes, bandit bandanas and a man in a cape and blue tights. They get to the part where the vocals are about to come in…rewind the tape…and play it again…

Mudfight with upskirt shots… from the C grade film Kamsin Haseena- 1992…death by arrow…too bad there’s no sound but definitely a brownsploitation worth a watch!

Buxom beauty in bellbottoms gives karate chops and kicks to evil femme girl with syringe in pink negligee…its from the Bollywood film Suraksha, 1979, …shaggadelic baby yeah…check out the heart-shaped chairs…film stars none other than Gun-master G-9 played by Mithun Chakraborthy (check out his disco dancing moves here) and the lovely Ranjeeta Kaur. Directed by Ravikant Nagaich

memsahib in her tacky blue underwear fights her psycho maidservant who is attacking her with a steak knife…by the end of it they’re wrestling in a bath tub and it looks more like the beginning “drama” sequence portion of one of those pirated “phoren” porn flicks that did the rounds in the 80’s like Debbie does Dallas. (if you look carefully you can see that the girls are giggling when they should be growling in the tub. ) From the D grade hindi movie Manovigyan –

Invasion of the Evil Twin Dacu Bitches…I think Tarantino needs to explore B-grade Bollywood bandit queen action…these chicks are straight out of Kill Bill…oh wait a minute…the stunt double is a man in a long wig…and the chick is actually not two but one person shot from two angles to make her appear like twins! (And that is one ugly man doing back-flips in a wig)

Ok and yes I may have gotten a little carried away doing searches so here are a few more clips for the super enthu:

This one is priceless…with plait pulling, scissor-locks-on-necks, ice-cream throwing antics…where Dimple Kapadia (Rani) plays a hooker who mistakes Menakshi Sheshadri (Julie) for a hooker encroaching on her territory…and decides to jump her- enjoy! Suraksha 1979 This is what your 20 year-old mom would look like in a catfight in 1965- the clip is from the film Himalay ki godh mein…check out how she beats the other girl’s head against the side of a dhol, squeeling…with Mala Sinha and Shashikala…Directed by Vijay Bhatt…and now here’s Hema Malini as Rajkumari Menakshi….doing some swashbuckling sword action in medieval costume in the film Kranti 1981 (year I was born) a period drama set in 1825 to 1875 AD…about the first revolutionaries battling the British…ok and now Hema Malini fights Sonia Sahni …. In red berets on a hill near a snake… no idea which film this is…ok and now some more vintage bollywood beauties in cone-shaped bras fighting over a man with a whistle whose dhoti gets ripped off….clip from Neel Kamal, 1968 directed by Ram Maheshwari ….another Catfight in Ahankar 1991 Bengali film by Shrikant Guha-Thakurta…..and here’s a Catfight between Zeenat Aman & Faryal from bollywood film Manoranjan 1974….boring but with zabardast and karadh slaps…and here’s a Catfight between Hemamalini & Bindu from Joshila 1973 directed by Yash Chopra…ok and this is a Catfight fight between Radhika and Silk Smita from Tamil movie Moondru Mugam…here’s a Random Cat-fight rolling down the mountain from and unknown film….and this one’s From 1975 Bollywood film Ponga Pundit…skip to the bit where the girls slap each other around in the pool…this Catfight is from Bollywood movie Daku Mangal Singh between 2 unknown actress….and another random Catfight from a southindian movie…and finally…more catfighting: bandit chicks in black do back-flips in Nepali film Basanti, 2000.

Ok so if you actually watched ALL of those clips then you are either a) truly bored, b) scrounging for material for your own blog, c) writing an academic essay on scopophilia and the male gaze in Indian cinema in which case I would “kindly ask you to see yourself to the door” and get a life or d) horny in a way which makes me wonder why you aren’t just looking for normal internet porn….

At which point my better half taps me on the shoulder, and says “Because guys think its hot- watching chicks fight.” He smiles knowingly at me, shrugs and walks away, pleased with himself as if he has illuminated my world with insight… “Excuse me? Eh?” …Please to explain? What is it about two girls punching each other that conjures up images of lesbian action? And what is it about lesbian action that guys find so compelling? I’m not sure I’ve met many straight girls who get off on watching gay porn…so…anyway… some mysteries are perhaps better left unsolved…

image from crossfire

SACRED NINJA COWS!!!

DESI NINJA COW!

(I got that excellent clip from curry bear)

ANOTHER UDDER FUCKING COW:

Evil YOGI battles KUNG FU fighters