Desi Aunty Pissing…and Simi Garewal still makes me want to barf…

ok. all I want to know is this…why are so many people who land on my site searching the web for “Desi Pissing Aunties”. This phrase has come up hundreds of times as the search engine terms that led people here…I suspect the “Agony Aunty” section is what lures them…

image from link

now I’m not moralizing or anything…but I don’t get the whole “pee on me” fetish…but hey…to each his or her own…and I can certainly think of a few guys who wouldn’t exactly stop Angelina Jolie from taking on a leak on them if she asked them nicely…..and I think its cute that some guys have a thing for the desperate housewife “MILF” sort of thing but Indian aunties don’t exactly look like Bree or Gabrielle from “Desperate Housewives”…they look like Simi Garewal…and if there’s one thing that makes me want to vomit into my bowl of cornflakes…its the idea of Simi Garewal naked and peeing on anyone whomsoever….

if anyone can explain this strange cyber quest for “Desi Pissing Aunties” I would be most grateful. And in the mean time here’s a cringeworthy clip of Simi Garewal topless in the tastelessly pretentious 1972 flick “Siddhartha” where Shashi Kapoor seduces her by pointing at birds, praying to her, and pretending to french kiss her while striking temple sculpture poses as they attempt to disguise a very badly made soft porn sequence as some kind of aesthetic tribute to India’s “Rich” erotic cultural history….the only thing “rich” or “historical” about the clip is Simi Garewaal, who has managed to evolve from a dim witted Bollywood tartlet into an aging Anglophile troll, who insists on wearing white, singing her own talk show theme tune, and thinks that just because she has “propah” English diction and got some major personalities to shed tears on her show, they’ll forget she let Shashi Kapoor see her tits on camera. Now if he had PEED on her…perhaps we could have been spared the abomination that was her candles-and-flowers tribute to classist circle jerking….

I’ve been meaning to put these clips up for a while….so get out your barf bags…

Simi Garewal and Shashi Kapoor in 1972 “Siddartha”

Simi Garewal Singing her theme song to Rendezvous with Simi Garewal. “Speak to me so I can see (EAT) your Soul”

Carniverous Tree eats Cow!

image from link

October 23, 2007

EXPRESS NEWS SERVICE

MANGALORE: Carnivorous trees grabbing humans and cattle and gobbling them up is not just village folklore.

Residents of Padrame near Kokkoda in Uppinangady forest range sighted one such carnivorous tree trying to dine on a cow last Thursday. According to reports, the cow owned by Anand Gowda had been left to graze in the forests.

The cow was suddenly grabbed by the branches and pulled from the ground. The terrified cowherd ran to the village, and got Gowda and a band of villagers to the carnivorous tree.

Before the tree could have its meal, Anand Gowda and the villagers struck mortal blows to the branches that turned limp and the cow was rescued. Uppinangady range forest officer (RFO) Subramanya Rao said the tree was described as ‘pili mara’ (tiger tree) in native lingo.

He had received many complaints about cattle returning home in the evenings without tails. On Friday, the field staff confirmed coming across a similar tree in Padrane, partially felled down.

However no detailed inquiry was made as the authorities were not asked for any report, Rao said. from newindpress.com

EVIL MONKEY MEN attack the good citizens of Delhi…

I kid you not. This happened in May, 2001

Residents of the Indian capital, Delhi, are reported to be panicking after a series of attacks by mysterious creatures, described as “man-monkeys”.At least one person is said to have died and 35 others have been injured in attacks in recent days or while attempting to flee in panic.Shoot-on-sight orders have been issued to stop these monkey creatures. Police in one Delhi suburb say they have ordered officers to “shoot on sight” to halt the ape-like menace.

Indian newspaper reports described the creature as “short, dark and hairy, with human legs and an ape-like face”. It apparently scratched and attacked people sleeping on the roofs of their homes, during the scorching summer months. According to the Press Trust of India, Delhi police received 29 “distress calls” from the east and north-east parts of the capital on Monday night.

Mystery:

Police are now said to be preparing identification kits of the creatures which allegedly jump down from tall buildings and “sprint long distances in seconds”. “It is indeed intriguing how a human-being can jump down from multi-storey buildings and cover long distances within such a short space of time,” joint commissioner of police, Suresh Roy, said. Zoo officials have also been contacted to help the police investigate the attacks and patrols have been stepped up in areas where the “man-monkeys” are said to be operating. from the bbc.

Perhaps planet of the apes was not just a fairy tale?

Throwing Babies off of balconies…ancient Indian tradition!

well that certainly sounds like more fun for the parents than for the babies…

MyFoxNY.com — One by one they went. A priest in India hurled babies over the edge of a balcony to a blanket below.

What probably seems shocking to you is actually a centuries-old tradition.

Superstitious moms and dads flock to the temple in Jalna for the ritual.

People who participated in the ceremony say no child has ever been hurt in the process.

watch a video of this happy event on MyFoxNY.com

“I Love You”- (Mithun Chakrabory) Happy 7th Anniversary to my Demonic Counterpart

image from link

October 22nd…a day famous for many events, including ours…

* 4004 BC – The universe is created. This is according to the 17th-century chronology of the history of the world formulated by James Ussher the Anglican Archbishop of Armagh.
* 362 – The temple of Apollo at Daphne, outside of Antioch, is destroyed in a mysterious fire.
* 794 – Emperor Kanmu relocates Japanese capital to Heiankyo (now Kyoto).
* 1383 – The 1383-1385 Crisis in Portugal: A period of civil war and disorder began when King Fernando died without a male heir to the Portuguese throne.
* 1575 – Foundation of Aguascalientes.
* 1692 – Last hanging for witchcraft in the United States.
* 1746 – The College of New Jersey (later renamed Princeton University) receives its charter.
* 1784 – Russia founds a colony on Kodiak Island, Alaska.
* 1797 – One thousand meters (3,200 feet) above Paris, André-Jacques Garnerin makes the first recorded parachute jump.
* 1836 – Sam Houston is inaugurated as the first President of the Republic of Texas.
* 1844 – The Great Anticipation: Millerites, followers of William Miller, anticipated the end of the world in conjunction with the Second Advent of Christ. The following day became known as the Great Disappointment.
* 1866 – Paraguay: Battle of Curupaytí against Brazil, Argentina and Uruguay.
* 1867 – Foundation of the National University of Colombia.
* 1875 – First telegraphic connection in Argentina.
* 1877 – The Blantyre mining disaster in Scotland kills 207 miners. Those widows and orphans who were unable to support themselves were evicted by the mine owners and likely sent to the Poor House.
* 1878 – The first rugby match under floodlights takes place in Salford, between Broughton and Swinton.
* 1883 – The Metropolitan Opera House in New York City opens with a performance of Gounod’s Faust (opera).
* 1895 – In Paris an express train overruns a buffer stop and crosses more than 30 metres of concourse before plummeting through a window at Gare Montparnasse.
* 1907 – Panic of 1907: A run on Knickerbocker Trust Company stock sets events in motion that will lead to a depression.
* 1910 – Dr. Crippen is convicted at the Old Bailey of poisoning his wife and was subsequently hanged at Pentonville Prison in London.
* 1919 – Doris Lessing, British writer, Nobel Prize laureate is born
* 1920 – Timothy Leary, American writer and professor is born (d. 1996)
* 1924 – Toastmasters International is founded.
* 1926 – J. Gordon Whitehead sucker punches magician Harry Houdini in the stomach in Montreal.
* 1934 – In East Liverpool, Ohio, notorious bank robber Pretty Boy Floyd is shot and killed by Federal Bureau of Investigation agents.
* 1935 – Establishment of the rank of Marshal of the Soviet Union.
* 1943 – World War II: Kassel: RAF conducts an air raid on the city of 236,000 people, killing 10,000, rendering 150,000 homeless. Second firestorm raid in Germany
* 1943 – Catherine Deneuve, French actress is born
* 1946 – Forty four British sailors die when two British warships hit mines off the coast of Albania.
* 1949 – Soviet Union detonates its first nuclear bomb.
* 1952 – Jeff Goldblum, American actor is born
* 1953 – Laos gains independence from France.
* 1956 – A concrete girder weighing 200 tons kills 48 in Karachi, Pakistan.
* 1957 – Vietnam War: First United States casualties in Vietnam.
* 1960 – Independence of Mali from France.
* 1962 – Cuban Missile Crisis: US President John F. Kennedy announces that American spy planes have discovered Soviet nuclear weapons in Cuba, and that he has ordered a naval “quarantine” of the island nation.
* 1964 – Jean-Paul Sartre is awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature, but turns down the honour.
* 1964 – Canada: A Multi-Party Parliamentary Committee selects the design which becomes the new official Flag of Canada.
* 1965 – End of the Second Kashmir War between India and Pakistan.
* 1966 – The Supremes become the first all-female music group to attain a No. 1 selling album (The Supremes A’ Go-Go).
* 1966: Double-agent breaks out of jail- One of Britain’s most notorious double-agents, George Blake, escapes from prison in a daring break-out believed to have been masterminded by the Soviet Union.
* 1968 – Apollo program: Apollo 7 safely splashes down in the Atlantic Ocean after orbiting the Earth 163 times.
* 1968 – Shaggy, Jamaican musician is born
* 1969 – Spike Jonze, American director and film producer is born
* 1970 – Tunku Abdul Rahman resign from Prime Minister of Malaysia.
* 1972 – Vietnam War: In Saigon, Henry Kissinger and South Vietnamese President Nguyen Van Thieu meet to discuss a proposed cease-fire that had been worked out between Americans and North Vietnamese in Paris. Thieu rejects the proposal and accused the United States of conspiring to undermine his regime
* 1976 – Red Dye No. 4 is banned by the US Food and Drug Administration after it is discovered that it causes tumors in the bladders of dogs. The dye is still used in Canada.
* 1981 – The United States Federal Labor Relations Authority votes to decertify the Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization for its strike the previous August.
* 1981 – The founding congress of the Nepal Workers and Peasants Organisation faction led by Hareram Sharma and D.P. Singh begins.
* 1981 – The TGV railway service Paris-Lyon is inaugurated.
* 1983 – Two correctional officers are killed by inmates in Marion, Illinois. The incident inspired the Supermax model of prisons.
* 1986 – U.S. President Ronald Reagan signs the Tax Reform Act of 1986 into law.
* 1986 – WNBC traffic reporter Jane Dornacker is killed when the helicopter she is riding in stalls and crashes into the Hudson River.
* 1987 – John Adams’s opera Nixon in China debuts at the Houston Grand Opera in Houston, Texas.
* 1987 – The pinnacle rock “Gendarme” falls at Seneca Rocks.
* 1989 – Katie Eber Pope of the Church of Samuel L. Jackson of Latter-Day Snakes, and the world’s first cynical philanthropist born.
* 1991 – Dimitrios Arhondonis, metropolitan of Chalcedon elected 270th Archbishop of Constantinople, New Rome and Ecumenical Patriarch as Patriarch Bartholomew I of the Orthodox church.
* 1999 – Maurice Papon, an official in the Vichy France government during World War II, is jailed for crimes against humanity.
* 2000- Jewish Festival of Simchach Torah…we meet later this day…
* 2005 – Tropical Storm Alpha forms in the Atlantic Basin, making the 2005 Atlantic Hurricane Season the most active Atlantic hurricane season on record with 22 named storms.
* 2005 – Crash of Bellview Airlines Flight 210 in Nigeria kills all 117 on board.
* 2005 – The first phase of Transantiago, the new public transport system of Santiago de Chile is implemented.
* 2006 – A Panama Canal expansion proposal is approved by 77.8% of voters in a National referendum held in Panama.
* 2006 – Michael Schumacher drives his last Formula 1 Race. The very same day the Spaniard Fernando Alonso wins the 2006 Formula 1 World Championship, becoming the 8th and youngest driver to win it twice in a row to emulate the achievements of Mika Häkkinen, Michael Schumacher and five other drivers.

all dis data from wiki

Sending a little Mithun Chakraborty and Rati to serenade you on a beach with “I Love You” …

Totally Tasteless Lollywood Clips…

Its Sunday…and time for browsing the worst of the worst…I can’t embed these clips so click the links to see:

Salman Rushie is attacked with lasers-from the epic film International Gorillay….here the “evil salman rushdie” gets zapped by some flying holy scriptures and gets shown what happens when one messes with THE BOOK

Talibarzan discovers Jungle Babe having mutha of all periods…jungle monkey tries to help…

Dancing giant Lollywood Dildo and a pink lycra leotard…

and Madame of the Brothel-whips, chains, girls, goons and a crucifix!

You are a Bloody Lesbian!

one of the less queer friendly smut films of B-grade Bollywood fare…involving a sapphic nympho who tries to give titty twisters to her girlfriend who gives her a lecture on heterosexual morality…. “You bloody Bitch! You are a bloody lesbian!”

I can’t embed it so click the link and see it on youtube. YOU ARE A BLOODY LESBIAN!

Nepal Airlines sacrifices Goats to get Airplane running…

When all else fails to get an airplane off the ground…try sacrificing some goats…

Officials at Nepal Airlines, the country’s state run airline, have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757s, the airline announced today. Seriously.

The goats were sacrificed in front of the balky aircraft on Sunday at Nepal’s Kathmandu airport–following Hindu traditions. So to quickly recap, if you land at Nepal’s LUA airport you have to deal with a freaky take off and landing, and if you land in Kathmandu you may witness a goat sacrifice in action.

A senior airport official said:

The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights.

Hmmm. Somehow we doubt PETA members will be flying this airline anytime soon. We don’t know what is more disturbing, the actual sacrificing or the fact that the aircraft was declared “fixed” post sacrifice. You decide. story from jaunted

TWO VINTAGE LOLLYWOOD SNAKE DANCES…

J.K. Rowling sues Durga Puja organizers for constructing Harry Potter castle. And Dumbledore is GAY!

the word…”cheap” comes to mind. I mean, ok so it isn’t exactly legal for these guys to be building a Harry Potter castle but I somehow don’t think she’s quite getting the point of the occasion. She claims that the organizers will be making a profit off of her castle for Durga puja but asking them for 2 million ruppees is a bit ridiculous. A large majority of people who attend these big festivals are from poor communities who aren’t likely to spend much money and so in a large sense the sets constructed are a public service. And in any case, during these festivals people come up with all kinds of weird themes like ganesh sculptures that look like spiderman. If they had to pay some huge royalty fee every time they came up with a cute idea to make the kids happy things wouldn’t be nearly as fun and interesting. It just seems slightly pathetic for one of the richest women in the world to be getting her panties in a twist because some people in India read her book and got a bit inspired. She should be flattered. But I guess she’s spent too much time in America. Her natural reaction is to press charges.

October 12, 2007

NEW DELHI: The Delhi High Court on Friday refused to restrain a Kolkata-based Durga Puja committee from using the statues and images of Harry Potter characters during the nine-day festival.

Justice Sanjay Kishan Kaul, however, made it clear that the court’s order would be applicable till October 26, saying, “any (further) use of these characters will be subject to the prior permission of the author of Harry Potter series, J K Rowling.”

The court also directed the Puja Committee to file an undertaking stating that they would not use any character from the book without permission in future.

The lawsuit filed by Rowling had sought a restraint order from the Court against the puja committee at Salt Lake from using Harry Potter characters in the pandal.

Using the characters without taking due permission was a clear cut violation of Rowling’s intellectual property rights, the suit contended.

The pandal has been designed in a manner which resembles Hogwarts Castle described in the book and displays statues of Potter characters like Hagrid and Hedgewig apart from Potter himself, the suit said.

The counsel, appearing for the Committee, Deepak Nag, submitted that it was a non-profit making society and was using the characters only for charitable purpose. from dna

and on a completely different note…DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!

Now it all makes sense! I couldn’t figure out why old Dumby would have been so impressed with that prepubescent fascist, Gellert Grindelwald. But then she didn’t spend much time in the book describing how cute he was, did she?

So camp it up with the Hogwarts Rainbow parade in “Its Ok to be gay”

Now I’m waiting to hear whether Chacha Chaudary and Phantom are out of the closet yet…

Indian Man Gives Birth to his twin!

This video is too creepy! A tiny headless person came out of this man’s stomache!

An ambulance rushed Bhagat (the 36-year-old MALE farmer from Nagpur, India to the hospital) to operate and remove the source of the bulge in his belly.This happened one night in June 1999, one doctor recalled that day in the operating room.
“He just put his hand inside and he said there are a lot of bones inside,” she said. “First, one limb came out, then another limb came out. Then some part of genitalia, then some part of hair, some limbs, jaws, limbs, hair.”At first glance, it may look as if Bhagat had given birth, but this was not the case as removed from Bhagat that day was his twin brother that had been there for nearly 40 years. info and video via wierdthings

Ancient Muslim Dog Tomb

BIDAR: It was a common thing that Muslim rulers raised tombs for themselves and also for their near and dear ones but a tomb for a dog is something many would not have come across.Especially, Bidar is bestowed with many such magnificent tombs belonging to the rulers of the erstwhile Bahmani and Barid Shahi dynasties, and among them lies Kutha Ka Qabr, a small tomb dedicated to a devoted dog, which was killed by its master unknowingly.

A Karnataka Tourism booklet says there is history behind the tomb. The booklet adds that a devoted dog saved the life of its master but was killed by its master under the mistaken impression that it had harmed his friend. Later, learning about the dog’s devotion to him, the Muslim master raised a tomb over its grave.But, the booklet does not mention who was the master of this devoted dog nor when the incident took place.

Kutha Ka Qabr establishes the fact that dogs are man’s best friends and that they share a strong bonding with him.Though it is a small tomb, it speaks big about the nature of an animal having devotion towards its master. story via weird India

Indian Mr. Universe 1985…Mr. Prem Chand

wow. This guy looks exactly like my He Man action figurine. So cute! And useful too. If you ever got stranded on a small desert island with him you could club him over the head and barbecue him….I think that should last for a good month and a half…

A ghost in Kolkata…

Oct. 7, 2007

KOLKATA: The scare of ghosts is haunting 345 Class V students of Degri Girls High School in Domjur, Howrah. On Saturday, the school authorities were forced to suspend classes for the day after terror-struck students claimed seeing poltergeist activity.

Just before classes began, a rumour spread among Class V students that many of their classmates were witnessing scary sights.

“I suddenly saw the duster and chalks floating in the air, right in front of me,” said Poulami Surat. Many students claimed that they saw a nearby tree “on fire” — although none of the leaves were burnt. Others saw smoke billowing from the tree trunk. And yet others were terrified by scary noises that seemed to come nowhere. Soon, every child started having some ‘ghostly experience’or other.

Panic spread within minutes and the students ran out of classroom in fear. Teachers rushed in to assure them that nothing had happened, but the terror-struck students refused to believe. None of them would go back to the classroom. So, classes had to be suspended for the day.

“A month ago, one of their classmates, Priyanka Khara, died after a sudden illness. Since then, an unknown fear has crept in among the students. On Saturday, when they ran out in terror, we decided to take no risks. The guardians were called and classes were suspended,” said headmistress Somdatta Sarkar. Classes were held as usual in the other classes. info via weird India

World’s Biggest Sandwich…also an Indian

Indian’s have been so busy making the biggest shirt and growing the longest ear hair that I think I’m going to have to devote a separate category to Indian world records….anyway here’s the sandwich story:

October 17, 2007

After a 10-hour effort by 42 employees, a Kerala resort Tuesday night prepared a 50-foot tall sandwich with an eye on breaking the world record for the tallest sandwich ever.Uday Samudra Leisure Resort at Kovalam claimed it broke the existing record for the tallest sandwich, held by O’Brien’s Irish Sandwich Bar that made a 42 feet tall sandwich April 25, 2003. This effort coincided with the World Food Day being celebrated today.

The monster sandwich has 350 slices of bread, each slice measuring 2.5 feet x 2.5 feet.The stuffing includes 45 kilograms each of cucumber and tomatoes, 40 kg each of boneless chicken, sausage, ham, apple and mayonnaise sauce, 25 kg of fish, 75 kg of lettuce leaves, 35 kg of onions and 150 kg of butter.

‘A German tourist got interested in this and she has brought over 25 children from a poor home and the kids are having fun at our place and are keenly watching the building of the sandwich,’ said Iyer.’Very soon this would be eaten by those who are here,’ added Iyer.

story via one of my favorite Desi sites…weird India

The Earl was the patron of Captain James Cook (the explorer who discovered the Hawai’ian Islands) and, because he was also the First Lord of the Admiralty during the American revolutionary war, he has sometimes been blamed by the British for the loss of the American Colonies. There is a story that he was an enthusiastic gambler and when he didn’t wish to leave the gaming table — or possibly just his desk — to go to dinner he would ask for someone to bring him some meat between a couple of slices of bread. Later, when others began asking for the same thing, they would say something like, “I’ll have what Sandwich is having…” Obviously it caught on, and people just started calling for “a Sandwich” when they wanted meat between two slices of bread. info from link