These days Americans keep cracking jokes on Saturday night live and other comedy shows about how everything is getting outsourced to Indians…and this whole call centre thing is apparently really funny…but have you heard about a call centre where PRAYERS are being outsourced?
DES MOINES — Last month, Lori Danes, 43, called the prayer line of a major television ministry and requested prayer for her mother’s persistent ulcers. But her prayer representative, who called himself “Darren,” prayed in a strong Indian accent that “all the gods would bless her mightily.”
“I was stunned,” Danes says. “It was like I’d called a demon prayer line.”
First of all, I think it’s a bizarre idea in the first place to have people call up any call centre in the west or India to request that some random stranger “pray” for you. I mean get off your lazy ass, kneel on the floor and do it yourself! Secondly, I didn’t know that prayers had to be in perfect English; what is this- a Latin incantation that has to be said with the correct American twang for the “spell” to take effect on God….I mean this can’t be earning many kudos with the almighty if you begin your prayer by paying someone else to do it (lose 5 points) and then tell them that their Indian accent reminds you of Satan (lose 10 points) before asking for a refund for your prayer (lose another 5 points) causing the aforementioned “demon” to get fired (lose 20 points).
What I want to know is how weird it must be for:
“Stephanie,” whose real name is Reha Jain, is a Hindu woman who works at a call center in Mumbai and has prayed with “many satisfied prayer customers,” she says. “It’s like my old job at a Microsoft call center. The caller is happy if you deliver quality customer service.”
Oh right…that’s totally normal… “quality customer service.”…prayers…advice on computer glitches….same thing right… “maam…is your heart plugged in to jesus? Yes? Have you pressed the power button? Is a light flashing?” Its just so normal to put on middle American accents and talk to lazy desperate faith junkies in need of a quick call centre fix…can you imagine a call centre for Hindu Prayers stationed in Texas…With a protestant woman named Doris dolling out mantras with an accent like Abu from the Simpsons…. “Helo migh nem ees Poooojuh. Plis to bee repeeting affter mee these Gayatree mantra… Om… boor booova soovah that sitar wear veitnam…”
Read the rest of the prayer outsourcing article here