A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization.
Ghandi replied, ”I think it would be a good idea.”
image from link
A few hours have passed since October 2nd, Gandhi Jayanti, and now his candles have all been blown out and the birthday boy is a snoozing ghost hovering somewhere up above India Gate preparing to be reincarnated as something new, its time to whip out a few Gandhi jokes…he was, after all, well known for his sense of humour, as well as his bad breath, and helped anorexics everywhere find self esteem by helping them use their talents in hunger strikes. He was actually a pretty weird guy and since we all blame our parents for the various pathologies we inherit, lets remind ourselves of this very odd person who helped make India the proud, pathological nation it is today.
and to celebrate his birthday tastefully why not purchase a plush Bapu Beanie Baby for just $ 14.95 from ebay
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard. He was also a spiritual person, and even when he was not on a hunger strike he did not eat much and thus he became quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he wound up with very bad breath. This explains why he became known as a “super calloused fragile mystic vexed with halitosis.”
joke from link
image from link
Here are some little known facts about the father of the nation.
(1) He had a set of false teeth, which he carried in a fold of his loin cloth. He put them in his mouth only when he wanted to eat. After his meal, he took them out, washed them and put them back in his loin cloth again.
(2) Mahatma Gandhi spoke English with an Irish accent, for one of his first teachers was an Irishman.
(3) During the freedom struggle, he wore nothing but a loin cloth , but for years he lived in London and used to wear a silk hat and spats and carried a cane.
(4) He was educated at London University and became an attorney. But the first time he attempted to make a speech in court, his knees trembled, and he was so frightened that he had to sit down in confusion and defeat.
(5) Mahatma Gandhi experimented with diets to see how cheaply he could live and remain healthy. He started living principally on fruit and goats’ milk and olive oil.
6) Gandhi’s pretty teenage girl followers used to fight “hysterically” for the honor of sleeping naked with the Mahatma and cuddling the nude septuagenarian in their arms. (Gandhi was “testing” his vow of chastity in order to gain moral strength for his mighty struggle with Jinnah.) When told there was a man named Freud who said that, despite his declared intention, Gandhi might actually be *enjoying* the caresses of the naked girls, Gandhi continued, unperturbed.
7) his daily greeting was, “Have you had a good bowel movement this morning, sisters?” And he used to participate in giving all the girls in his ashram enemas and they gave him enemas in return.
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32 Comments
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I keep telling everybody but they don’t believe me.
Now just ask the Sikhs why they have such loving memories of Mr Gandhi- hmmm.
Luv your blog!
ciao~ *T
very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
Idetrorce
hi ,
i Heard lot of bad about gandhi, he is not fit to be father of Nation, due to his dirty politics we lost many good leaders, due to his dirty politics we………..
this is stupid u racist mofo.
thank you brian. and how was your bowel movement today sister?
you are the personwho needs the enema
Get a life, you Ghandi hater, and stop believing every thing that left wing moslims and fanatic hindus put on the net.
hey man, I love Gandhi, and personally I have nothing against his obsession with feces- its a part of a whole ayurvedic system where you keep track of what comes out- in fact there are some natural philosophies which even suggest drinking urine- as for the testing his moral resolve with the naked young ladies- this is fairly common knowledge- and as far as I know he didn’t break that resolve- perhaps something useful to do, would be to make critiques based on things that you actually know about- and if you have trouble respecting Gandhi after what you’ve read- that’s not my problem nor was it my intention. Respect without a sense of humor is something that people with very small attention spans do in order to feel safe in the world. Gandhi did a lot of good things for a lot of people but he did a lot of weird things and some rather nasty things to the Dalit community, if you have time to read some history. Anyway, lets not get our panties in a twist- when I put up stuff like this I’m assuming that we are all mature enough to respect someone while having a laugh. In that respect, perhaps I err.
oh my friend plz dnt waste your respect or love for such a man who was not even a man but more aghast than tht, he had nothing to do with others respect or feelings, he was a psychopath having hollow cynical complexion, (i will not use word personality here as he dnt deserve such respect) from south-Africa to India or from a sergeant major of British army to self acclaimed mahatma (my foot) or from a strong racist in Africa to apostle of peace n humanity———- in all these fronts he did no good for a common man or an Indian or to our country, he ruined our politics (father of corruption), he not only ruined but insulted also our customs, social set-up, religiousness n our enriched culture vested in our roots, he mocked at them, my friend, the word HARIJAN had no existence earlier for a particular community or class specifically but this Murderer or Assassin choked everything the way he wanted, my dear, as u hve said tht he did some good things for lot of people and then u said tht he did lot of weird n nasty things for Dalit Community————- 1st– I after deep research shall say tht so called Mahatma–My Foot, had no room for others irrespective of any cast, clan, family n their origin, to him, every follower was a puppet in his hands n mind, he had rules of his own n the violator of same was not called CRIMINAL, he was called a sin-ful soul and had to bear such punishment which had no morality and sense of personal liberty, he was forced to lead a life of slave afterwords which had no time boundary, gandhi – apostle of peace sent thousands of men to stand with british army who became canon fodder n slaughtered in war for no good reason, so my friend what good he did for people, now 2nd– u said he did lot of weird n nasty things for Dalits, words weird n nasty are nothing n stand nowhere to describe his rotten mind, he killed every inch of Dalit community by addressing them as HARIJANS, anybody who had no vices in mind became aware of this community n its status, he slaughtered the spirit of humanity n culture, the topic is endless n i will b happy if u ask any question of gandhi n his misdeeds, i will right ur wrongs my friend.
gaqndhi was a bid bloody persen, because of him we lost many leaders. i want to ask a question that why did his wife died this is because of maliarya and a british docter adviced to give a english medicine. but he rejected that and let her died but later he took the same medicine, do u thing he is a self less man.
Gandhi was an incestuous pedophile who slept with young naked girls in order to prove that he would not be tempted like the common man.
One of these girls was 12 years old and related to him by blood. In this case it is unknown whether he stuck to his convictions or committed the primal sin of incest
i had sex with your wife!
me too she blew me away
this is stupid Gandhi is wonderful!!!!
hei that is good.there r some thing wrong with gandhi.he say ahimsa to indians against the british and help british by giving indian army for 2nd world war ,that he loves his masters(british) more than india.he is not a mahathma and i will not consider him as the father of my country.
Gandhi was pedophile. He got rid of his wife by refusing to treat her with western medicine.
He should have been hanged.
i agree wid u.gandhi dsnt deserve 2 b fadr of nation.he was a ‘thharky’ guy who adopted non violance coz he wasnt physicaly strong enuf 2 resort 2 violance.1 chaperh di maar c oh.there were many more legendary n much more patriotic personalities lyk d great great bhagat singh but v still hv given dis thharky d title of father of nation nd his name is printed on every note.what a shame!!
I’m hungry (:
why dont you eat your own heart, asholefaceman
thats nt very nice to say. esp. on ghandi’s website
me too!
Great text. When will I get the more details?
Julia Hakkinen
polish escort in warsaw
30 january is goodest day of my life because gandhi died on 30 jan
hi harshita, im very happy having a like minded company, 30th January is really a calm n good feel day for me too, i take this day a real independence day when my country got rid of the most shrewd, impostor, cunning, cruel, racist n the most violent man ever born on earth. he all his life emphasized for truthfulness but he didn’t disclosed many truth in his so called book, ‘my experiments with truth’, im failed to understand that what kind of experiments he did with truth, the word truth has nothing to do with experiment. truth means an established fact which needs no clarification, explanation n corroboration, he made entire country a scapegoat to quench his weird intentions of his own—– every space is short to describe his crimes n misdeeds in fullest—may his soul not b forgiven till eternity.
everybody in history says that after being thrown out from train by british in south africa, gandhi took a vow to free his nation from british shackles. now if we come to otherside it seems to be a hollow narration. was it first day he traveled in same compartment of train, gandhi being a major captain in british army served queen for years, to influence british he classified british on top, indians after them and at last he listed africans the black natives who were nothing but a filth and scumbags born for slavery, how such a stupid and sinful man a stigma on humanity can b a father of any nation, he gave birth to untouchability, he ruined india by inch–thanks to nathu ram godse for his intelligent, courageous & patriotic deed–gandhi was nothing but a bastard of bastards with no values & ethics but his own selfish contentment
It’s funny how offended people get. Obviously he was very strange, nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t take away from his accomplishments in the slightest. Mother Teresa on the other hand was insane and wanted people to suffer as much as possible because she believed it brought them closer to god.
I dunno what u fuckin jar heads think of Gandhi or i don give a damn to his darker side if it wer to be true he gave a nation the freedom which they deserved we shud be thankful…i don want to get on the bandwagon n accuse him of something we might not even know is true or not so keep ur idiotic childish thoughts to urself n respect a man for what he’s done
handhi was awful man face it he liked cleaning his asshole ddude
and he smelled bad, do you like bad smell you asshole
HAHA
I have an idea… since you “w”itches cant stop crying about all the wrong doings of Gandhi… get the eff out of the country he worked so hard to get independence for…
Oh btw ” I hate indians” don’t worry bro… we hate you back you illiterate s**** get an effing education… wait can you spell such a big word??? do you know what it means??? or do you rely on welfare.
supperbbbbb brother